It took me years and a string of relationships, with some great times, some tumultuous and heart-wrenching, to finally get the one lesson that life, my higher self, and my spirit guides were screaming at me to get: Love Yourself!
From the breakup with my very first high school boyfriend, I remember asking myself, “So, what could I learn from this?” and having that first inkling of knowing I had to respect and love myself if I ever wanted to be truly happy and find a partner who would love and respect me. Of course, these things are easy to forget and you jump into the next relationship and start over again. You forget somewhere along the way that another person can never really complete you and you look outside of yourself for validation, reassurement, comfort, nourishment. At some point, you’ll have a hiccup, a breakup, a divorce, and be reminded of working on yourself and your relationship with you. It’s a process we all go through.
As we collectively move forward in our evolution, now there is so much more emphasis in relationships on doing one’s own personal growth work, self-love, and balancing both the feminine and masculine within. I believe in order to have a healthy, thriving, and conscious relationship, you first need two whole people coming together to make something greater, rather than two incomplete people seeking their other half to complete them.
I don’t know where along the line I came to this shift in perspective, but learning to love myself has definitely been a part of it, and the result has been that I am now in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. My partner and I both love each other for who we are now. The biggest breakthrough is that for the first time in a relationship, I’m not constantly trying to “fix” him, or secretly and silently wishing he would change this or that about himself. I trust in his ability to course correct, to do the work to become the best man he can be. We both focus on our own personal growth, support each other in being the best we can be, and have the opportunity to be mirrors for each other. I focus on loving myself, knowing that he loves me, and both of those feed each other.
This month, I will be focusing on self-love. I’m rounding up some of the best self-love tips and practices from my healer and coach sisterhood. And I’m going to be sharing some of my own favorite self-love practices and wisdom as well!
Stay tuned for more…
Art: Tara McPherson